DVC for Mr. Speedo’s fever

It’s almost a certainty that Mr. Speedo gets all his non-swimming information and opinions from this blog; so I can’t sit here and let him starve for want of talk of the biggest exposé in human history, of the biggest coverup in human history. We’re not talking hippopotamus history, though you can take my word that hippos are notorious for coverups. We’re also not talking about the history of smores-fork manufacturers, even though they comprise a subsection of the “human” category and, like hippos, have been involved in their share of coverups.

From CNN.com:

“If we have offended any Christians I would ask them to forgive us, which seems to be one of the main tenements in the New Testament,” actor Paul Bettany, who plays Silas in the film, said with a smile [. . .]

Said with a smile, and with a rudimentary solecism. My freshmen would have used the shorter incorrect word, “tenants.” In case you are Paul Bettany or a freshman: a tenet is something held; tenant, one who holds; tenement, the property occupied by tenants.

And the rousing conclusion to the article:

Also, while not planning a protest or boycott, members of the National Organization for Albinism and Hypopigmentation expressed unhappiness with the film’s heavy, a monk-assassin, being an albino, as described in the book.

Michael McGowan, an albino who heads the organization, said “The Da Vinci Code” will be the 68th movie since 1960 to feature an evil albino. He said the group aims to use the movie’s popularity to raise awareness about the realities of albinism. People with albinism have little or no pigmentation in their skin, eyes and hair.

One of my friends here is a member of Opus Dei, and he tells me two things. There are no monks in Opus Dei, but there is a Silas at the NYC headquarters—a black janitor from the Bronx. Not exactly an albino . . .

But regarding this CNN extract: First: Isn’t it great that every last sliver of human experience has been bureaucratized? Someone, somewhere, sits at a desk waiting to raise our awareness, or provide “more information” about any given topic. CNN has just teased us by giving the definition of albino—a sure index of the level of reader they assume—but we can get more information on albinism by contacting McGowan. Too bad they don’t have an 800-number listed.
Second: How naive is McGowan, to speak of the “realities” of albinism? Doesn’t he know that realities are in fact socially constructed, and not “really” real? Of course I’m just funnin’ here . . . but there are those who would claim the entire natural world as a product of the human mind.

Bruno Latour, the French sociologist of science, wrote an article entitled “Ramsès II est-il mort de la tuberculose?” (Did Ramses II die of tuberculosis?). As summarized by Sokal and Bricmont (Fashionable Nonsense, p. 96-7),

Here Latour discusses what he interprets as the discovery in 1976, by French scientists working on the mummy of the pharaoh Ramses II, that his death (circa 1213 B.C.) was due to tuberculosis. Latour asks: “How could he pass away due to a bacillus discovered by Robert Koch in 1882?”

Apparently Latour believes that tuberculosis became “real” when it was named in a lab, and that the notion of a discoverable mind-independent reality is a myth. A very popular myth, too, as without it science couldn’t exist. Definitely one of the dumbass ideas that only 1st-tier intellectuals can possibly believe in.


3 Responses to “DVC for Mr. Speedo’s fever”

  1. Mr. Speedo Says:

    “awareness about the difficulties of albinism” = better… Those New Testament tenements were absolutely abysmal. And no rent control, to boot! Also, Latour was joking. What else? Maybe YOU are a non-monk of Opus Dei. That explains it!! This blog is your self-hurt device…

    I still gots it. THE DVC FEVER, baby!

  2. Curly Says:

    One might rightly call the teachings of the NT “tenements,” seeing as they are in a state of advanced disrepair in the world at large.

    RE: Latour. Why would anybody joke about something as stupid as that?? Latour is one nutty dude. I read We Have Never Been Modern and thought I was the stupid one for not understanding it, but it turns out that Latour is just incomprehensible.

    I’ll try to assuage your fever in the near future—just hang in there, go see the movie, all 149 “symbologist” minutes of it. If that don’t cure tha feva, you lost, dog!

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