4 million pounds

On August 22nd of last year I started keeping a spreadsheet of my physical activities: weights, running, etc. Today I passed the 4 million pound mark.

That is a little more than 14,000 pounds a day on average, and is equal to the weight of 8.9 Statues of Liberty. Compared to the Great Pyramid of Cheops, it’s almost invisible. Cheops has about 2.3 million stones, averaging 5,000 lbs each; 4 million pounds is equivalent to 0.0334% of the total weight of the pyramid. In other words, at the rate I’ve been going, it would take 2,300 years to lift its total weight (6 million tons).

I have only kept track of running since January 1st, and since I just started swimming there aren’t many stats for that yet. But since then I have run about 125 miles in about 18 hours (average of just under 7 mph). And I have covered 4.55 miles in the pool so far, in about 7.7 hours—most of it spent breathless at the pool’s edge. Ah . . . check back with me at the end of summer.

My sometime workout partner tells me that my written records have no connection to the brute facts they purport to represent. Anybody could write down those numbers on paper. He’s an empiricist, he says, and credits only those things he can see happening. Things past don’t count, either; they have to be happening RIGHT NOW for them to count. He’s joking, of course, but it’s not a fib that I’m outlifting him on most movements, despite the fact that he weighs 204 and I’m a measly 146.

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5 Responses to “4 million pounds”

  1. Jim Says:

    Propone, you only weigh 146!!! What say what!! I can hear all of the Kurty Deuce disses (disi?) coming your weigh (get it get it, that was a good one)

  2. Joe Says:

    146? When you gonna lose some weight, tubby? Anyway, congrats (?) on your lifting of Pompeii. If you were in England you’d be rich!

  3. Evan Says:

    That’s pretty good, you’re getting there. But how many popcorrn leg bends have you’ve done, because you can’t make a real progress without this vital exercise.

  4. Curly Says:

    Yes, that was a good one . . . Kurty’s been ringing my phone with weight-related disses ever since I posted this. By the way Joe, “tubby” really hurts, man. I’m trying, okay???

    I’m glad Evan brought up the popcorn knee bends. It IS a vital exercise, but only for absolute beginners. Mr. T only used the popcorn because it was part of what they had on hand, but he unambiguously denounced it along with candy and soda pop as bad for you. So I don’t use popcorn in the normal workout regimen (anymore).

  5. Mark Says:

    Stop lifting things that don’t belong to you. Imperialist scum. Austria gave back their Klimts, so I want to see that pyramid back in Cheops wid a quickness.

    Also, you are fat. That could be one reason why you are having a hard time in the pool.

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