Oprah has spoken

I’ve been getting an “Oprah has spoken” ad in the “sponsored links” section of my Gmail recently. You’d think that the e-mails that triggered them were about Oprah, but no: one was a discussion about contraception and undergraduate morality, and the other was from someone telling me of a weekend of endless vomiting and diarrhea.

You do know that Oprah is one of the secular goddesses of our time, do you not? When Oprah speaks, it’s like an oracle. Or, an O-racle. That’s why her magazine is called “O.” In fact, I hear the OED is introducing a new adjective in its next update: “oprahcular: pertaining to prophetic words spoken by Oprah.”

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