Archive for the ‘Miscellaneous’ Category

Super-consumer

February 27, 2008

I go through consumable goods like nobody’s business. Tuesday I reached the bottom of a box of 125 Ziploc sandwich bags. I only got the box in August of 2000 . . . I should be a little more aware of just how many bags I use.

But I still have about 10% of a gallon-jug of dishwashing soap that I got at that same time. Never have stopped washing my dishes—just use a small amount to do the job. My goal is to get an advanced degree in less time than it takes me to use up that detergent.

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Evil clown duck guitar player sells for big bux!

February 15, 2008

One of the ugliest pieces Brad has sold on ebay in quite a while is this horrific critter that just sold for $224.72. That is not a typo.

img_4342_creature.jpg

Here’s the description:

In the family for about 4 decades, this unusual glass figurine has a sticker (partly torn away) on the bottom, but “Genuine” and “Made in Italy” are visible (a city may come before Italy…there seems to be enough room where the tear-away is). It’s unknown from where this item was obtained by my family member.

He’s playing guitar (see scan below), and he is wearing a hat and snappy, lavender bow tie! While he has a bill of sorts, he may not be a duck….while he has webbed feet, he may not be a penguin! He’s a generous 11″ tall!

If you have a place on your desk, in your cubicle, and “thinking-out-of-the-box” is your middle name, maybe this musical little guy is for you!

He’s in mint condition, having either been lovingly displayed or gently stored. Winning bidder to add $10.50 priority shipping with Delivery Confirmation. Insurance available. International shipping is available.

Phenomenal poetry, very!

January 28, 2008

It’s a blessing and a curse to be paid to read comments like this:

I definitely thought his poetry was complicated yet very phenomenal.

I can say with 100% certainty that “phenomenal” here means “neat” and has nothing to do with philosophy. I’m also sure that “neat” is code for “I didn’t understand it.”

Ska granny

November 29, 2007

Went to Savers this afternoon because all tags of a specified color are $1 on Thursdays. Today it was green tags. (Didn’t find anything good with a green tag, dagnabbit.) At this price, you could walk out of there with pants/shirt combos to last you a week, with no repetition, for $10 (not counting weekends).

As I was making my way to the cash register, I saw an old woman browsing the racks. She was wearing a broad, weaved lanyard that said “SKA” on it. I thought it was a little strange, that at her age she would feel the need to advertise her taste in music. Then my eyes followed the lanyard a few inches to the right, and saw the word “ALASKA.” Less strange.

Happy Black Poetry Day

October 17, 2007

Yep, it’s October 17th again!

Go read about Jupiter Hammon, born on this day in 1711.

Commentary on Al Gore’s Nobel

October 12, 2007

“We face a true planetary emergency,” Mr. Gore said in his statement. “The climate crisis is not a political issue; it is a moral and spiritual challenge to all of humanity. It is also our greatest opportunity to lift global consciousness to a higher level.”

Gag . . .

What a string of debatable claims.

Mountain Dew “Game Fuel”

October 8, 2007

By the way, I typed that last post on Halo after drinking my first can of the new Halo-themed Mountain Dew. It was pretty okay, but I don’t think I’ll buy another case of it. I want the original Pitch Black back!

Another case of Merv captionitis

October 4, 2007

Remember the redundant Merv Griffin obituary caption?

This next thing isn’t a caption, but can be classified with the Merv caption. Dig this model of efficiency (and irony):

Rainfall Daffinson created an elegant and eye-pleasant corporate site with home page that loads 3 times faster. We reduced the home page weight from 100k to 30k resulting in a page loading almost three times faster.

The page loads 3x faster, but now it takes twice as long to read about.

Wanna shop for blisters?

September 30, 2007

Looking up “cold sores” tonight I found this very helpful pop-up advertisement linked to the keyword “blisters”:

blisters

If I ever need to “compare and save” on blisters, I’ll know where to go.

Another NY Times chrono-bender

September 29, 2007

Just yesterday I posted about the bad writing that made it sound like folks who got married in the 1970s had somehow been married already in the 1940s.

Here’s a caption to an article on how UCLA is implementing affirmative action, even though it’s against the law:

Two decades ago, Frances Harris would have been a shoo-in for a place in U.C.L.A.’s class of 2011. But the political landscape changed, and with it her chances for admission.

Seems that two decades ago, she would have been a shoo-in for the class of 1991, not 2011. Seems also that two decades ago it’s likely that she hadn’t yet been born. Do these articles have to make it past an editor, or do the Times writers just blog their pieces to the net, like ol’ Curly does with his fluffy ranting?